Believe
by DreamyHope
Summary: Skye still believes in Ward but she's not quite sure why.


**I started to write this story when I saw photos from ep 20 (the one where is Ward pointing gun on Skye) so it was after ep 18 and that's why it doesn't match with the show.**

**This story could be sequel to Hide your feelings but it doesn't have to be so it's entirely on you.**

**There are probably (most likely!) mistakes in this story so feel free to let me know about them. ;o)**

She wanted to hate him. She knew she should hate him. But she couldn't. She cared about him too much to hate him. And she knew for sure he cared about her too.

Yes, he betrayed S.H.I.E.L.D., he betrayed the team, he betrayed _her_ but she knew, deep inside, he cared.

She knew nobody is such a good actor to pretend all those feelings. Or maybe she just didn't want to admit it; because if she would admit it everything she believed to would fall apart. She would have to admit he kissed her only because he needed her to give him the password to the hard drive. And he knew he wouldn't manage to find the password without her; because it was her password and she was the only one who could open that disc if they didn't want to delete everything. She would have to admit he just played with her. She would have to admit she was a fool. And she really didn't want to look like a fool. Not because she cared about herself but because she still believed.

She believed in him even when he kidnapped her. She believed in him when she found out the truth. She still believed he's not HYDRA, he's part of the S.H.I.E.L.D., and he's part of their team. Because hope was the only thing she had left.

She couldn't – she didn't want to – afford to lose hope. Neither of them could. She knew that even the rest of the team didn't want to admit they were betrayed by member of the team. They told her she needed to move on. They told her he was a hopeless case but no one truly believed that. Even May - who was suspicious about everybody and everything.

Skye took a deep breath, wiped her tears and came out of her bunk. She knew she can't avoid rest of the team forever. Everybody was waiting for her. They waited patiently for the past few hours but she knew they wanted to know what happened before they rescued her. She needed to tell them, she needed to tell them _everything_ – how she fell in love with her SO, how she kissed him, how _he_ kissed _her_, how she had to give him the password to that hard drive and gave HYDRA every single information they had. Nothing was safe now.

"I'm _so_ sorry!" she apologized when she told them everything what they needed to know.

"Oh, sweetheart!" Simmons hugged Skye.

"It's not your fault," Coulson assured her. "You did brilliantly. You did everything you could. I'm just glad we saved you in time."

She looked at Coulson gratefully. He was like a father to her – to all of them – and she was glad he's not blaming her even when he could. She could at least _try_ to avoid it. But the truth was that only one Ward's smile; one Ward's kiss was enough to convince her they won't hurt her if she cooperated. And she was _so stupid_ she _really_ trusted him!

"No, AC," she replied. "I didn't do brilliantly. I didn't see his intensions. I didn't know what he is up to. I still trust him; even now! I know I shouldn't. He was ready to torture me; he was ready to _kill_ me. And still I'm trying to make excuses for him. I _should_ hate him but I can't." She shrugged her shoulders. "I'm an idiot," she added reconcile to that.

"No, you're not!" Fitz assured her. "He was your SO. You trusted him; you loved him. You can't blame yourself. Nobody can blame you. We all were in your place – except that thing with love – but we all trusted him. We all thought he is on our side. He lived with us on the same plane, for god's sake! Neither of us knew he's part of HYDRA!"

Everybody stared at him.

"Wow, when you became so wise?" Skye asked with a smile and with tears in her eyes.

He shook his head and smiled back at her. Their smiles weren't happy, but considering the circumstances, they were the best they could do.

"However, it's not anybody's fault on this plane," May stepped in to the conversation. "It was Ward's decision. He wanted to do that. He didn't have to but he did. And you, Skye," she looked at younger woman, hard expression in her eyes, "have to stop defending him. I know it's hard to believe but he didn't give us any other choice, did he?" She turned and walked away.

"Well," Skye said after few minutes of surprised silence. "I think she's right and I'm just," she sighed, "a naive little girl."

"No, Skye, you are not." Jemma defied her. "You just want to trust that there is still good in him."

"But it is naive, Jemma. We all know that. We just don't want to admit it. Grant Ward is gone and he's never coming back," Skye replied, sadly. It broke her heart but May was right, it was his decision. She had to accept that fact. She looked at each of them, and then she shook her head. "I...I just have to go." Suddenly, she realized she is very angry and she can't stand their pity any longer. She needed to punch something or rather _somebody_ but the right person wasn't anywhere near.

"Where?" Fitz frowned.

"Cargo hold," she answered simply. "I need to let my anger go. And I need to be alone."

They let her go. They could see her stubborn expression and they knew nothing will stop her.

At cargo hold Skye punched the punch bag really hard. She didn't wrap her hands so it hurt, badly, but she didn't care. She needed to feel the pain so she could forget the pain in her heart. It wasn't the first time she'd done that.

She started with it when she was just a little girl. Every time when any of the foster families said she didn't fit she went and punched something so the real pain was stronger than the one in her heart. Thanks to the pain she could forget all the disappointment she felt. Then she could finally move on. It was easy, just like that.

Now she hoped it would work one more time. She would cause a pain to herself, she would move on and then she would be allowed to look at him and felt nothing. She wouldn't be feeling sorry for him that he had to go to the Fridge. And if there wouldn't be any other solution she would be allowed to pull the trigger.

Well, she hoped for it but deep inside she knew she wouldn't be able to feel nothing because it was too late for it.

She punched the punch bag again and heard a loud _crack_. Acute pain came through her hand. Skye seized her hand and fell on her knees. At that very moment she knew she might not be able to forgive him but she also knew she would always love him.

**I couldn't give them happy end. Not yet anyway. I'm sorry for that but I wasn't in a mood for happy end when I've written it.**


End file.
